Out with it. Out.

My parents bought me a car for Christmas. Now, before you go off and start thinking all those things I might think if someone's parents bought them a car under most conditions, never mind at my age, let me reassure you: The circumstances are truly fucked.

Latin American housewives are, by deeply-rooted tradition, fatalistic. My mother has a life-threatening illness. She assumes it's going to kill her. She leans on my father, talking about how everyone in Puerto Rico buys their kid a car (far from true, and besides, I'm old) and how I'm really in a tight spot and I need their help (far from true -- the Swedish Brick still runs, and I'm paying all the bills), and how it's best for me to enjoy what little inheritance I have coming before they kick the bucket anyway (This isn't morbid at all.). My father, who knows better than to disagree under these circumstances, plunks down a deposit on a shiny new Honda before I even know this plan is in the works.

I would have been a moron to turn this down, for several reasons, at least a few of them quite unselfish (and I'm tired of typing them all out in private entries, so ask me in person); so now I have a 2004 Honda Civic LX Coupe, 5-spd, black, with a black interior. I had the dealer install a LoJack, so the whole thing cost me $700 plus insurance. I will concentrate on how awesome that is, and avoid counterproductive thoughts about how and why I got it.

I've had it for nearly a month, and it's the best freaking car I could possibly own right now: agile, practical, sporty, tight, reliable, pretty, cheap to fix, comfortable, and subtle.

It comes with a 1.7L, 115hp, 110lbs-ft, SOHC, non-VTEC engine. The 2.4L, 200hp, 166lbs-ft, DOHC, i-VTEC engine from the Acura TSX sedan would not be an especially difficult swap for an experienced Honda garage.