opabinia

Imagine if Strong Sad worked in your company. There's this guy here... I really worry that I'll accidentally call him Strong Sad to his face someday, because that's his name in my mind. I forgot his real name long ago.

He's kinda big, kinda soft, kinda droopy in the face. He has a mild, chronic frown. Soft-spoken, quiet, yet whiny. I've never heard him say anything neutral or positive. The main difference between this guy and the cartoon is that the cartoon is less pathetically hostile.

Anyway, this guy never really made a contribution to my life experience, apart from the occasional mild irritation, until just now. Funny how the way you perceive something has so much to do with your pre-existing notions. I was getting coffee in the break room. There are several thermoses (thermi?), and there is often a marked difference in freshness from one vessel to the other. Strong Sad, helping himself to some brew, was mumbling, mostly to himself, that he didn't care how old the coffee was, because he planned to put ice in it anyway. This other guy in the room said, "But old coffee gets that bitter taste to it." In a moment of shining glory, Strong Sad replied, without hesitation, in a perfect, grumbly bleat: "That just gives me another reason to be fucking grouchy."

This took me entirely by surprise, and I laughed out loud, really laughed hard. Strong Sad, bemused(!), looked at me and said, "You like that, huh? You could be my Ed McMahon."

"We'll never age!" I replied.

I took my (fresh) coffee back to my desk, along with a bag of low-fat animal crackers. My mood was so brightened by this exchange, I decided to drop a small handful of M&Ms into the mug, to imbue the coffee with sweet, chocolaty delight.