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opabiniaAppeal-to-Ridicule tactics don't form a solid foundation for persuasive arguments, but this is funny. Stolen from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sookyoja.
10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Real Americans never adapt to new social norms, like the service-sector economy, or longer life spans, or cars, or television.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still
property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Brittany[sic?] Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a
society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
sookyoja. 10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Real Americans never adapt to new social norms, like the service-sector economy, or longer life spans, or cars, or television.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still
property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Brittany[sic?] Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a
society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 01:18 pm (UTC)property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
the scary thing is, some of the fundies that oppose gay marriage probably are working from an "ideal" model of straight marriage that isn't too far off from this one.
*shudder*
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 01:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:01 pm (UTC)I see. And this coming from his vastly researched background in biology, of course?
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:16 pm (UTC)I need to hang out with more tall folks then.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 03:07 pm (UTC)Oh, and probably extrapolation from the old "sons of Ham" argument for black slavery, which the Southern Baptists used to hold. I think they officially recanted and apologized more recently.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 04:42 pm (UTC)that was after the coffee nearly came out my nose
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 04:43 pm (UTC)the funny thing is, he came from a city. i was raised in rural america. you'd think... nah. we can't go expecting that of americans. that would be like *gasp* asking women to think! (remember the argument that women shouldn't have the vote because they would jsut vote the way of their husbands and skew the ballots in favor of the married demographic? ha. )
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 05:15 pm (UTC)I do take extra special pleasure in the fact that the legalization of gay marriage in MA during his governorship has almost certainly destroyed Mitt Romney's presidential chances (not that being a Mormon was going to help him, but still). JUST IMAGINE WHAT HE'D ALLOW TO HAPPEN AS PRESIDENT! Heh.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-19 05:15 am (UTC)