rock star

[opabinia]

I was supposed to go to a birthday thing, but someone needed help moving, so I stayed home in order to make myself available. Dispatch never called -- I was stood up! Nobody's fault, no harm done. It feels like being dismissed from jury duty: not the highest use of your time, but also a relief.

How to Remove a One-Piece Crankset

1. Drown anything that looks like it could be affected by tools with WD-40...
2. Do something else for an hour or two.
3. Free the thin but enormous nut with
a 15/16ths
a 1
your housemate's slip-joint pliers.
4. Free the big, funny-shaped washer with... Hey, the pliers work here, too.
5. Learn that "one-piece crankset" is not a figure of speech. Therefore, one pedal has to come off.
6. Reflect on how much easier pedal removal is when the crank is not flopping freely in an oily mess.
7. Remove the pedal by
unscrewing it from the crank
utilizing a more different screwdriver
taking a bolt cutter to the pedal
shattering the pedal with a hammer
taking a bolt cutter to the crank
sawing the God-damned crank in half.

8. Let the crank halves fall out, then gently tap the cups free of the bottom bracket with a hammer and copper pipe.

Success! Your trash-rescue POS Murray frame is ready for sandblasting. Reward yourself with half a box of Triscuits, some cheese, and a frosty pint of 2%.


Ah, the single life.