All right.

What the crap am I supposed to do with a baby squirrel? It approached me in the back yard, chattering quietly. I stepped back, thinking "Rabies," until I noticed how small and oddly-proportioned it was. It stood on my foot and shivered a little. I picked it up, and it curled up on me for warmth. I couldn't put it back -- a cat was watching -- so I brought it inside. Following the instructions on this site, some pointers from rojagato, and my own lack of expertise, I've managed to make the wayward... pup?... drink warm water, pee, nap on a warm, dry towel, drink apple juice, nap some more, slurp a mixture of soymilk, maple syrup, and wheat germ off a plastic spoon, pee again, and go back to sleep. Oh, there have been two careful wipe-baths with warm, wet paper towels, too.

My name is Prion, and your tag is sticking out. I do not want a pet squirrel -- especially a baby one that needs to be stimulated to pee. Gross. This is why I'm not a vet. It's a boy, by the way. I've called saturniidae, and written to mandy_moon. Angell told me to call Fish and Wildlife, which I'll do from work tomorrow. He's sleeping in a shoebox full of dish cloths right now. I'll bleach or discard everything the little parasite bomb touches. No Mad Squirrel Disease for me, thanks.

Addendum: Looks like the Animal Rescue League in Boston has licensed wildlife rehabilitators. I'll call them tomorrow.

sqrl

	Shhh.
	Prion is sleeping.
	Wake up, Prion.
	Look cute.
	Good job.
	Hang on.
	No diving!
	Good boy.

Today I fed Prion, helped him eliminate (ew), put him to shoebox-bed, and drove him to The Cummings School in Grafton. Tufts veterinary folk are taking care of him now. Once they're sure he's strong and stable, they'll turn him over to a wildlife rehabilitator. Prion took a dump on my hand as I passed him over to Tufts staff. Maybe that's how they say thanks.