Father's Day

Mom: Oh, that Manny Ramirez is so crazy looking-
Dad: Yeah with those thread-lock things-
Me: Dread. Dreadlocks, or maybe dreadfalls.
Dad: Dread-locks. Yellow ones sometimes.
Mom: But you know one time he had a book signing, and he looked so different. He had this nice, nice suit, and those things pulled back in a ponytail, so neat... So neat you couldn't really see them. He looked... He looked so handsome.
Dad: Twenty million a year, I would-
Me: I WOULD LOOK FUCKING AWESOME
Mom/Dad: *ROFL*

(Mom wipes her eyes.)

Mom: No hables así.

*****

Luis Lloréns Torres (1876-1944) is often called the “Poet Laureate of Puerto Rico," like I know what that means. Dad said,

Ay, la gloria es sueño vano.
Y el placer, tan sólo viento.
Y la riqueza, tormento.
Y el poder, hosco gusano.
Ay, si estuviera en mis manos
borrar mis triunfos mayores,
y a mi bohío de Collores
volver en la jaca baya
por el sendero entre mayas
arropás de cundiamores.

( trans. )

(From Valle de Collores.)


Mom: *nods sagely*
Dad: La riqueza, tormento.
Me: Bring on the torment. Torment me.