opabinia

Fluffy is normally very sweet, very mellow, and above all, very gentle.

Tonight I tried to remove one of her optionally edible housemates (OEH) with a large net. It had grown into a bully, and I had grown tired of watching it beat on all the other OEH. Now, Fluffy has seen the net many times. I have touched her with the net. The net is unthreatening. Familiar.

Tonight Fluffy saw the net, and decided it was actually a tremendously dangerous thing. She darted away and bonked her nose on the glass, which startled her even more, so she rocketed straight up into the air.* I dropped the net. She fell over five feet down onto the hardwood floor. For a fraction of a second, I recall, I actually weighed the pros and cons of panicking. I decided not to panic.

Fluffy sputtered and flapped violently. She needed my help. I raced to her side (she had flopped across the room in about four seconds), planted my right foot next to her scared little head, and reached for her-

I was wearing white socks. As it happens, there is nothing quite so terrifying to an African lungfish as a white sock. Fluffy immediately attacked my big toe.

She let go so she could continue thrashing. I withdrew the offensive foot and tried to pick her up, but she was too slippery, too fast, too upset. I limped into my room and acquired a pillowcase. I returned to the dining room, where Fluffy had sought refuge under the dinner table. I dropped the pillowcase over her front half. She froze. I immediately grabbed her with the fabric, hobbled to her tank, and dropped her back inside.

Fifteen seconds later, she forgot the whole incident. Yes, that's the net sitting on the sand there, and that's Fluffy wondering why I'm staring at her like that.

I took off my sock.

This is what a lungfish bite looks like. Never, ever approach a lungfish wearing white socks. It's safer to call an armed black mugger an "Uncle Tom house nigger."

Fluffy suffered a missing scale and some little fin tears. I'm sure she's got some bruises, too, but she'll heal faster than I will. I just checked up on her, and she asked for food. I said "My love for you is strong; but pull that shit again, and you're soup."

* I would like to add, at this point, that she reacted this way once before, when she was seven inches long. The guy at the pet shop was startled by the 7-inch missile. He dropped the net.
Please note that Fluffy is now about thirty inches long.