pussy

[opabinia]

Some mornings I wake up thinking I should go find myself a good cat. There could be a happy, purring, warm kitty by my side, pleased to see me every morning, eager to share a lazy Sunday with me. I should visit shelters and look for a faithful, affectionate, entertaining, lifelong* companion. Then I realize that the day I came home with a cat, I'd surely meet a wonderful new woman, the closest thing imaginable to my perfect match, and she'd be allergic.

Litter boxes make me gag, anyway.


* Hopefully theirs.

Comments

[tisana.livejournal.com]

Possibly.
But if she were your perfect match, maybe she'd be willing to accomodate by taking Claritin or getting allergy shots.

A purring kitty on the lap (even for us allergic folks) can cure an amazing number of ills. And little kitty claws in sensitive places can make you forget other ills really quickly. Useful, that.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

willing to accomodate by taking Claritin or getting allergy shots

Maybe, but there's no way I'm gonna bank on that. My Long-Term Relationship Track Record stinks as it is, and I don't even make women sneeze yet.

More importantly, I haven't convinced myself that I really want a cat quite enough to assume all related responsibilities.

(Whoops. Comment echo.)

[halo.livejournal.com]

sounds like a good way to meet your perfect match, then. =)

(and if you do, Claritin is magical stuff.)

I found Egon on petfinder. It's like cat personals. Some of the ads are even creepily written in the first person ("my name is Fuzzy and I like playing with string and sleeping on your clean laundry.")

[bottleimp.livejournal.com]

Cats = Hellspawn

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

Duly noted!

[sparkgrrl658.livejournal.com]

my roommates have three cats, and i definitely was not a cat person before i met these things, and i'll probably miss them when they're gone. but i just don't like the idea of anything but me shitting in the house.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

I totally agree, unless it shits underwater.

[sparkgrrl658.livejournal.com]

point!

plus aquariums are awesome and can be pretty badass. my friend nat has some really cool ones that he built; when i'm not totally broke again it'd be a cool hobby.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

Those look very well put together. A good planted tank is a work of art, and a stable micro-reef is a laudable engineering achievement.

I have a 180-gallon monstrosity full of South American armored catfishes in the dining room. No challenge, apart from the scale, and delicate furnishings need not apply. :)

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

Nah man, chicks love cats. Especially crazy chicks.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

As a crazy cat lady in the making, I have to agree.

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

You guys should have a sign that you have to wear to warn people. Like a scarlet letter kind of thing. Made out of cat hair.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

We do.
It's the cat hair that's all over everything we wear, often dark colors, because we apparently just never learn.

This is not to be confused with wearing cat ears and pretending to be a cat; this is a catgirl, not a Crazy Cat Lady, and is a different brand of crazy all together.

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's crazy hottt.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

Most of said catgirls are 12.

Ew.

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

Dammit. Finding the right crazy chick to date is just impossible.

[mistresshellena.livejournal.com]

yeah, your pussy will bring all the chicks to the yard...

or something comparably inappropriate, but hilarious. because I said it. in a weebl & bob voice. :D

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

Yeah but then they never leave, and want to keep boxes of tampons in your bathroom.

[bottleimp.livejournal.com]

HEROIC DOG LEAPS ON GRENADE TO SAVE OWNER; MYSTERIOUS FELINE SOUGHT IN PIN-PULLING




DOG LEADS MISSION TO RE-IGNITE THE SUN WHILE CATS COWER IN BURROWS UNDERGROUND




DALAI LAMA APPLAUDS COMPASSION OF CANINE SPECIES; CONFESSES TO "DEEP PERSONAL SUSPICIONS" ABOUT CATS

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

I get it! I get it!

(I frequently wonder if I should get a wiener dog, instead.)

[bottleimp.livejournal.com]

THIS JUST IN:



PACK OF WEINER DOGS ARRESTED FOR IMPERSONATING KILLER RATS

[xenoglaux]

I had this great idea for rigging up a wiener-dog with a shotgun.
That fucker would be fierce!

[mangokat.livejournal.com]

Nothing is quite as relaxing as having 17 pounds of kitten asleep on your crotch...

[ayun.livejournal.com]

It's way more likely your cat will turn out to be a fickle aloof emotionally-withholding pain in the ass who occasionally consents to be petted. Most cats are assholes at least half of the time, though the other half is pretty awesome.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

Yeah -- like a girlfriend!

[voodoodollie167.livejournal.com]

Some cats are like that, but I have to say that a lot of cats are fucking great.

My old cat Onyx and my room-mates cat Simon are prime examples of how amazing a kitty can really be. Talkative, cuddly, playful, smart and intuitive. Coming home to a cat running down the stairs to greet you and show you just how much you were missed is wonderful

I love cats.

[http://users.livejournal.com/---lis/]

what you need to find is a woman willing to PRETEND to be a cat.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

Nah, that's spriggan's kick.

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

Don't judge me!

[saturniidae.livejournal.com]

You could volunteer to foster! We had 3 really cute kittens for a month, and got to give them back to the shelter just as we were starting to get sick of them.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

Hmm.

*head scratchy*

[sephardic.livejournal.com]

Having pussy around does mean boxes of shit in the house. But it is possible to keep the litter box concealed, inside a bench or chest, so it remains out of sight (just cut a cat door in one side).

Being a cat foster parent does work! It's like rent-a-kitty (a service I still think would be great). Basically you test drive a cat who needs a temporary home; and whenever you're ready to hand them back to the shelter, you can do so. I can get the info from friends of mine who adopted excellent cats this way (after experiencing some less excellent cats).

As I type this, two giant cats are snoring and purring deeply on either side of me. Kind of awesome. Now if only they didn't shed on EVERYTHING.

sk

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

it is possible to keep the litter box concealed

Thing is, whether I can see it or not, a litterbox is still a box of poop inside a human dwelling, which equals disgusting. There's no escaping the occasional whiff, either.

If I ever live with one or more cats, I hope to place the litterbox in a remote corner of the basement. Either that, or they're learning to use the toilet. (I know they can. Little bastards can flush, even.)