cultivating a powerful bitch slap

[opabinia]

Navy beans are bigger than traditional mung beans, which makes them slightly easier on the hands. They're also cheaper. You're looking at six pounds of dry beans going into a canvas shoulder bag. Beans were $6. Bag was free, courtesy of sephardic.


Nylon twine came from U-Haul. I think I bought it in 2003. Let's say $2. Tightened the knots with pliers, trapped them with Krazy Glue. (Otherwise, the twine would slip over itself and loosen.)


I guess that looks like something I should slap.


Abandoned speaker stand was free. I was going to eBay it, but it's not as valuable as I'd hoped. Sephardic suggested I transform it into a training stand. I did so instantly.


The finished Iron Palm beginner's setup. Doesn't look very traditional, but it will do for now.


DIT DA JOW KUNG-FU IRON PALM & BRUISE LINIMENT
FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY!

It's not Iron Palm without "Fall Strike Wine," the herbal conditioning extract believed to protect, heal, and strengthen the hands. This isn't cheap: A liter costs at least $50. bottleimp made this himself, so I got it for considerably less, after convincing a Thai prostitute to give him a handjob "for his birthday." This stuff smells great!

Today I gently practiced a few strikes,* to feel the system out. I'll want a stand with edge supports, rather than a central pillar. A short, sturdy barstool would work. Hey, I'll trade you a speaker stand for one.


* Slap, back-hand, knife-hand, ridge-hand.

Comments

[locriansax.livejournal.com]

when you get a new job and have some evening time, I'd loove for you to swing by our kung fu school if you're interested...our new schedule will be posted in the next week or so...

ever considered it?

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

I have plenty of time now! :) I'm unlikely to leave my school, but I'd love to visit yours. Let me know when the new schedule is up.

[bottleimp.livejournal.com]

Yeah. that Thai girl? She had a little "something extra." Check under the hood next time, you bastard.

[sephardic.livejournal.com]

ahh, the gift that keeps on giving.

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's not my fault. She said she was clean, and she swore she was "split, rather than fringed."

[bottleimp.livejournal.com]

No, venereal disease is the gift that keeps on giving. This was just an unexpected cock.

a short story about hand conditioning

[mesatchornug.livejournal.com]

friend of mine used to train with a bucket full of mung beans. that he'd throw his pistachio shells into. when he stopped training half the bucket was broken pistachio shells. he went back to it recently, and was something more than sorry...

[wisheyeveiw.livejournal.com]

I MISS KUNG FU

I MISS STANLEY!!!

[panzerkunst.livejournal.com]

Dit da jow! I've used that before.

[developer.livejournal.com]

They aren't particularly expensive stands, but they are kind of nice. I'm actually kicking myself for not throwing them in, but I was afraid that as a last minute addition they would get loose somehow and destroy things with their rather sharp edges.

Glad you found a use for it.

I also miss my rugs. Still trying to figure out what the method was to my madness when I packing beyond: bed, books, clothes, studio gear.

Did Tony take the rack? I found myself going "hey, that rack would've fit perfectly right here."

And last but not least, I've decided it was foolish to take my bed, it feels lumpy now. :P

[lepidosiren.livejournal.com]

they are kind of nice

Oh, they're definitely nice. I had just overestimated their monetary value, that's all.

Glad you found a use

I've decided to use two cinder blocks stacked vertically, instead. It's sturdier, and I don't feel bad beating up cinder blocks. Might even use the speaker stands for... speakers! :)

I'm pretty sure Tony commandeered the rack.